When it Rains

I so truly wanted to post something bright and hopeful here today.  But things turned out differently than I expected.  Once again this morning I found myself staring at the ceiling tiles in the ultrasound room at Birmingham OBGYN with tears running down my face.  I wanted to tell you all I was 9 weeks pregnant, but now I have to tell you that another baby is gone.

I have written about my prior miscarriage HERE on the blog before.  And about my deep desire, yet temporary inability to have another child.  After a year and a half of waiting we were overjoyed last month to learn we were finally expecting.  Then today we were heartbroken again to see a sweet lifeless spot on the ultrasound monitor.  

They say when it rains, it pours.  And this month has felt like a monsoon.  The robbery, a heavy work schedule keeping my husband away from home, an unexpected staff loss, and another baby to say goodbye to.  I feel struck by repeated losses.  I know the enemy wants nothing more than to rob my heart.

But that is sealed up in Christ.  And though I am wounded and weary, my purpose and hope are firm.  I continue to think of a line from an Andrew Peterson song I have always loved:

"The Man of all Sorrows

He never forgot

What sorrows are carried

By the hearts that He bought.

So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God,

The aching may remain, but the breaking does not."  

I cry to say goodbye to another child I'll never hold, but I am comforted knowing I have SO many children to love.

The Price of Cheap: Avoiding Frustration

Before I delve into more specifics about how we can avoid cheapening others by where and what we buy, I want to offer some cautioning words.

As Christians we know that the world we live in is one messed up place.  It wasn't like this in the beginning, but when Adam and Eve made the choice to go their way instead of God's way they threw everything into confusion.  Now each of us is born in sin, with a selfish and corrupt nature.  And greedy individuals are very skilled at creating greedy systems that plague and frustrate the entire world.  We've all got an individual sin problem and we're all some way or another entangled in and contributing to a larger collective sin problem that keeps the world ugly.

As long as we live and function in this fallen, dysfunctional world we will be unable to completely avoid cheapening others.  We will inadvertently participate in and contribute toward systems that hurt others.  Until Jesus comes back there is just NO way around it.  But this doesn't mean we should just throw our hands up in defeat. 

What we're striving for here is not perfection.  We're aiming by God's grace to do BETTER.  Just as we will wrestle against our own flesh until we're free from these bodies, we will and should wrestle against the systems of sin found in the world. 

So as we explore ways to be less "cheap," I caution all of us (especially myself) not to give up when you find that there is no easy way to avoid the ugly cheapness mentality in our every day purchases.  And don't become too discouraged when you find that you'll have to at times be less than thrilled with the choices you'll have to make.

There is no flawless way to accomplish the goal of treating others 100% ethically in a corrupt world.  We're going to have to make wise choices, set personal priorities and determine which battles are worth fighting.  This is hard for me as a deeply determined idealist, but I remind myself that God is in control and that as one individual I can only accomplish so much.  But I CAN accomplish something.  We all can.  It is worth trying.  So that's what we're going to do.

The Price of Cheap: Week Off

I just wanted to let everyone know that in light of recent events (mainly the robbery...see post below) I've decided to postpone this week's installment in the Price of Cheap series until next week.  Having our home broken into threw off my schedule big time, and while I could scramble to get something up today, I'd rather just rest my mind and return to it when I can give it my full attention.  So look for a new post in the series next Thursday!

Where Our Treasure Is

Monday morning I arrived home from the grocery store to find our back bedroom door smashed in.  My first reaction was total shock.  My second reaction was a silly mind scramble to think of anything that could have possibly caused it OTHER than a break in.  My final response was to call the police, especially when I saw that my laptop was missing.

Yes, we were robbed.  It was certainly an unpleasant and frustrating ordeal.  In the midst of a busy week we now had to deal with insurance, a new door and a missing computer used to do most of my ministry work.  I have no doubt that the enemy wanted nothing more than to distract and discourage us while we were already swamped and exhausted.  But thankfully, he didn't succeed.

Monday night as I laid in bed thinking over the events of the day, I tried to figure out why I wasn't more upset.  Good grief, we were robbed!  A stranger was running around our house digging through our personal stuff and shoving my precious wedding pearls into OUR pillowcase!  But truthfully, my heart was at utter peace.  Then I remembered "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy or where thieves break in and steal..."

And I realized, our treasure really wasn't here to take.  We owned very little of value, but even the little we owned wasn't what we prized.  While I will always miss those special pearls from my husband, I'm not that upset.    All I could think about as I fell asleep last night was how I always wanted it to be this way.  That if a thief broke in they would never find much of value to take because our treasure is stored somewhere eternally safe.  So even though Scott plans to get us a security system so that he can sleep peacefully while he's away from home, I couldn't help but think that what might be better is to put a little sign in our yard that says:

"Our treasure is in heaven.  You won't find much here to steal."