And just like that 2009 is over. I find myself asking where did the year go??? I have now been blogging for exactly one year. And strangely, this will be my 100th post in 2009. 100 posts. Part of me is tempted to stay up until midnight revisiting each one and remembering where I was challenged, where I grew and how God blessed. The biggest part of me, though, wants to close the lap top and curl up by the fire. (It is 10 degrees up here in Chicago after all...)
But before I complete this 12 month chapter I must simply say a word of thanks. Ultimately, I have to pour out my thanks to my Heavenly Father who gives me the opportunity to do even what little I do for His Kingdom.
Once when I was a very new Christian and still "figuring things out," I was so momentarily overwhelmed by the power and brilliance of the Lord and so keenly aware of the insignificance of myself, I remember telling Him quite timidly that I would be honored just to be able to watch. I didn't need to be the star, a supporting role or even a member in the chorus. I just wanted to sit in the audience...even a back row seat was fine. It was such a beautiful play-the drama of the gospel and its unfolding here in the world and history. I felt so honored to peek in at it.
Much to my delight the Lord didn't just want me sitting on the sidelines. He invited me...with all my imperfections and faults...to daily work and service for Him. He gave my gifts purpose. He gave my life purpose.
Sadly, I am less awestruck about it as I used to be. A lot of days I am just plain ungrateful. Some days I get so tired I want to give up. Some days I get so selfish I want to shake my fist at Him. Some days I get so lonely I want to despair. But now as I take the time now to calm my heart and examine the bigger picture, I am reminded of that childish sentiment fostered in my heart so many years ago. Unqualified, naive and unrefined, He grew me up and tailored me to fulfill the work He had called me to according to His purpose.
I thank Him for another year in the journey...of busy hands for Him and a heart that still cries for others. I'm ashamed of how I've avoided Him so much, been petty and negligent. As I look back over 2009 I am aware of how I have stumbled, but I am MORE keenly aware of how He has been faithful, sustained and held not only me...but my family both here and in Uganda. Tonight I am filled with gratitude. I am sure that 2010 will bring only more of His goodness, and hopeful that by His grace some more goodness will be produced within and through me.
I also want to thank the many of you who have stuck with me this year and continued to read along. You encourage, cheer and spur me on more than you know. Sometimes blogging feels like walking outside in your underwear. You just feel exposed, nervous and left wondering if you have frightened and turned off the entire neighborhood. The fact that I even hear from so many of you gives me courage to keep typing. Thank you a million times over.
So goodbye 2009 with your issues and joys. Hello 2010! Only He knows what this new year holds. Let the adventure begin!
But before I complete this 12 month chapter I must simply say a word of thanks. Ultimately, I have to pour out my thanks to my Heavenly Father who gives me the opportunity to do even what little I do for His Kingdom.
Once when I was a very new Christian and still "figuring things out," I was so momentarily overwhelmed by the power and brilliance of the Lord and so keenly aware of the insignificance of myself, I remember telling Him quite timidly that I would be honored just to be able to watch. I didn't need to be the star, a supporting role or even a member in the chorus. I just wanted to sit in the audience...even a back row seat was fine. It was such a beautiful play-the drama of the gospel and its unfolding here in the world and history. I felt so honored to peek in at it.
Much to my delight the Lord didn't just want me sitting on the sidelines. He invited me...with all my imperfections and faults...to daily work and service for Him. He gave my gifts purpose. He gave my life purpose.
Sadly, I am less awestruck about it as I used to be. A lot of days I am just plain ungrateful. Some days I get so tired I want to give up. Some days I get so selfish I want to shake my fist at Him. Some days I get so lonely I want to despair. But now as I take the time now to calm my heart and examine the bigger picture, I am reminded of that childish sentiment fostered in my heart so many years ago. Unqualified, naive and unrefined, He grew me up and tailored me to fulfill the work He had called me to according to His purpose.
I thank Him for another year in the journey...of busy hands for Him and a heart that still cries for others. I'm ashamed of how I've avoided Him so much, been petty and negligent. As I look back over 2009 I am aware of how I have stumbled, but I am MORE keenly aware of how He has been faithful, sustained and held not only me...but my family both here and in Uganda. Tonight I am filled with gratitude. I am sure that 2010 will bring only more of His goodness, and hopeful that by His grace some more goodness will be produced within and through me.
I also want to thank the many of you who have stuck with me this year and continued to read along. You encourage, cheer and spur me on more than you know. Sometimes blogging feels like walking outside in your underwear. You just feel exposed, nervous and left wondering if you have frightened and turned off the entire neighborhood. The fact that I even hear from so many of you gives me courage to keep typing. Thank you a million times over.
So goodbye 2009 with your issues and joys. Hello 2010! Only He knows what this new year holds. Let the adventure begin!
1 comment:
Happy New Year, Jamie. Your post here sounded peaceful, which is what I hope 2010 holds more of for both of us. :) I'm glad you're writing - it teaches me things sometimes, and sometimes it's just the right words for just the right day.
Blessings to you all in 2010.
Love,
Jen
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